Mark 11:22: And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God.” Most days, my faith is strong. It is unwavering, and the peace and joy that I feel from knowing that I can overcome death is enough to make me want to share the good news with anyone and everyone. And then there are weeks like this one. My mind goes places it shouldn’t. The devil creeps into my mind and pushes away the work of the Holy Spirit, who has worked so diligently to pursue me.
Think of all of the cults that have believed something outrageous--The Heaven’s Gate cult committed a mass suicide in order to escape to the “Next Level” by abandoning their terrestrial forms and gaining access to a UFO that was supposedly trailing the comet Hale-Bopp. There are more...the Jonestown incident in which 912 people performed the “ultimate sacrifice” to save their religion. Satan whispers to me, “This isn’t any different from Christianity. Your God isn’t real either. Those people wasted the only life they’ll ever have for something that did not exist.” And after hearing it a few times, I begin to wonder. I question. My faith is shaken. When I pray to God for answers, He is silent. He doesn’t need to prove anything to me; He’s already provided the evidence with his death on the cross. Think of the story of the rich man who failed to help the beggar (Luke 16:19-21). As he sat in hell, he asked to return to warn his brothers about this hell to prevent them from also ending up there. To this Abraham replies, “They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them...If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, even from one who rose from the dead.” It’s a harsh reminder from Jesus that we are already given all of the tools we need to believe, including a man rising from the dead. If we can’t believe it then, no one from hell can save us. This crisis of faith only grows stronger as Satan recognizes my weakness. He gently leads me towards all of the “flaws” of the faith, providing me with a new lens on how I look at this God I call Father. “Why would a God who loves you and wants to give you free will punish you eternally by not making the right choice? Is that really free will?” he whispers. He continues, “You only have this short time here on earth; live it. Enjoy the pleasures, give into temptations. You don’t get to do it over. Death is coming. Death is the end. Enjoy this world…There are no do-overs here.” And I listen. I hear the accuser’s words and silence the voice of the Holy Spirit. My fear of death returns, and that fear consumes my life. How can I deny what he says? How can I believe in something that might not be real? How can I stop this fear of death when the reality is I don’t want to die? I’m afraid to die! By now I’m in tears, the battle is over. I’m broken. I’ve lost my faith, Lord, and I’m sorry...I’m so, so sorry. ………. The Accuser is powerful. He doesn’t always appear as evil or awful, but instead as caring and aware. He accuses us of not having a strong faith, and he seeks to prove that to God through the trials he brings into our lives. Think of The Accuser and God in Job. God allows faith to be tested, trials to be endured. The Accuser puts on his best show to try to break that faith and cause it to falter. With Job, he wasn’t successful. With me, and with so many others, he was. But that Holy Spirit is powerful too, and not only is she powerful, but she’s persistent. Soon that voice returns, encouraging me to go look to scripture for guidance. “I’m here,” her voice soothes, “I’ve never left.” The peace begins to return. And through her I hear James: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Through her I hear I hear Paul: “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” And again, through her, I hear the voice of Jesus, our example: “Away from me, Satan!” And the devil left him, and the angels came and attended him. Away from me, Satan. You have no power over me. Away from me, Satan. You have no power over me. Away from me, Satan. You have no power over me. The Holy Spirit is within me. I can hear its sound, but I cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going (John 3:6-8). I feel this urgency, this desire to feel that closeness once more. Jesus knew these trials would come. And He knew I’d come back, with a faith that is stronger having endured the ponderings of the devil. When we allow Satan to have that power, it is then that he is in control. But, when we take that power back; when we listen to the Holy Spirit’s voice over that of The Accuser, it is then that we grow as Christians in our faith in God. After all, without these trials and episodes of doubt, we would remain the same. As Stars Go Dim sing in Heaven on Earth: “Take my life and let it be set on fire for all to see. Break me down, build me up again. Don’t leave me the way I’ve been. Take this life into your hands, come and finish what you began. Until I seek your kingdom first, until I shine like heaven on Earth.” We all have those voices that whisper doubts. We all have those voices who whisper fears. But we also have those voices that whisper truth and life and peace. Choose which voices you’re going to hear. “Have mercy on those who doubt.” Jude 1:22
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Sadie JensenI'm a follower of Christ seeking to know Him and live like Him. If you'd like to learn more, read my blog post about my faith journey here. Archives
November 2018
Categories |