When I am lost and alone, When I stumble and falter, When I ignore God's will, God's still there...1/9/2019 Hosea 11
“When Israel was a child, I loved him, and I called my son out of Egypt. 2 But the more I called to him, the farther he moved from me,[a] offering sacrifices to the images of Baal and burning incense to idols. 3 I myself taught Israel[b] how to walk, leading him along by the hand. But he doesn’t know or even care that it was I who took care of him. 4 I led Israel along with my ropes of kindness and love. I lifted the yoke from his neck, and I myself stooped to feed him. 5 “But since my people refuse to return to me, they will return to Egypt and will be forced to serve Assyria. 6 War will swirl through their cities; their enemies will crash through their gates. They will destroy them, trapping them in their own evil plans. 7 For my people are determined to desert me. They call me the Most High, but they don’t truly honor me. 8 “Oh, how can I give you up, Israel? How can I let you go? How can I destroy you like Admah or demolish you like Zeboiim? My heart is torn within me, and my compassion overflows. 9 No, I will not unleash my fierce anger. I will not completely destroy Israel, for I am God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living among you, and I will not come to destroy. 10 For someday the people will follow me. I, the Lord, will roar like a lion. And when I roar, my people will return trembling from the west. 11 Like a flock of birds, they will come from Egypt. Trembling like doves, they will return from Assyria. And I will bring them home again,” says the Lord. ------------------------------- I'll admit, I haven't been reading my bible lately. It's a terrible thing when life gets so busy that God gets pushed aside. It's a coping mechanism that I do often when life gets stressful; I push aside those who I know will always be there, those who love me the most, so that I can emotionally and mentally save my energy that would have been used on them, and instead use it on others. Because I know that my husband and my Lord will never leave me, it's easy to put them as the last priority and use my energy for other things that seem, at the moment, to be more demanding. Now, I know that this isn't healthy and it's not the right way to deal with things. I wouldn't recommend adopting this as your new strategy for dealing with stress...ultimately it only creates more stress and anxiety than before. Specifically in terms of placing God as an option rather than a priority, I find myself feeling unbalanced, foggy, and lost. When I get far away from God, I find that I am far away from myself. I am wandering through life, looking normal to the passerby; yet on the inside, I am an empty shell without hope and without purpose struggling to get through each day. And of course, there's always a breaking point. A time comes when I just can't stand to feel this way any longer, and I crumble and crack as I am reminded that I am not able to do this on my own. It is usually then that I recognize my distance from God, ask Him for mercy, and once again open up my bible in hopes of finding what has been missing. This happened yesterday. After another late night of working on things for my classroom, I finally crawled into bed around 11:30 p.m. Knowing that 5:30 a.m. would come soon, but unable to turn off my thought-cycling mind, I yearned for rejuvenation and encouragement. I opened my bible randomly, hoping God would lead me to something that would help me and lead me back to Him. I wasn't disappointed. Hosea 11 is a beautiful chapter told in the perspective of God as He watches Israel continuously choose to do things their way rather than walking with God. When God calls out, they go farther away. And it's not like Israel is upset by this; in fact they don't seem to be seeking God's will or word at all. In fact, God says, "But he doesn't know or even care that it was I who took care of him" (3). Israel is acting like a rebellious child, determined to live in this world on their own without any authority telling them what to do and the consequences of their sins are starting to pile up. God has given us the gift of free will, and I think it's evident here that our choices are not always what God would have chosen for us. Though God is all knowing, all powerful, almighty, He allows us to choose for ourselves if we want to walk with him or if we want to try to do things on our own. What I think is important is that God allows Israel to fail, to falter, to be destroyed...Though it makes Him sad to see what will happen to the peoples He loves so much, He recognizes that because of free will they are able to make that choice. And as they push against God through sin and resistance, the consequences of their choices begin to unveil. Wars break out and Israel will be destroyed. God doesn't stop it from happening. He allows it to happen, like He allows so many bad things that happen on this earth. The consequences of humanity's sins cannot be avoided in a world with free will. And while God allows it, He is still unhappy that they made the choice of choosing not to follow him ("My heart is torn within me, and my compassion overflows" 11:8). Yet, regardless of his unhappiness, He doesn't react in anger and He doesn't destroy them. Instead, He reminds us that someday we will all follow Him, when His son takes our place on the cross, when we are transformed because we have known Him, and when at last He "brings us home again" (Hosea 11:11). The peace in knowing that I am not alone, I am not the first one to try to do things on my own, is comforting. God knows our human nature, He knows our weaknesses and faults. Though I may disappoint Him, He has reassured me that His love and compassion for me are unwavering and never-ending. He reminds me through the prophet Hosea that if I want to find happiness, if I want to be at peace, I need Him. As C.S. Lewis said, "God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is not there. There is no such thing." When I'm away from God, when I separate myself from Him, I cannot rest, I cannot be complete, because God is supposed to be a part of me. I believe we are all born with a desire and yearning for something more than the world can give us. It's not a coincidence. It's part of our nature, it's part of our divine design. As we were formed in God's image, He created a special place for Himself, and without Him, we are not complete. I remind myself of God's love, His mercy as He watches me fail Him time and time again, and His grace. Though I will constantly fall short in bringing God the glory that He deserves, I know He continues to love me. Though I wander off sometimes and try to do things on my own, I know He will forgive me. Though I don't deserve to walk even in His shadow, He's given me grace to one day kiss His face. I hear your roar, Lord, and I am returning trembling from the west. I am coming home. Blessings, Sadie
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Sadie JensenI'm a follower of Christ seeking to know Him and live like Him. If you'd like to learn more, read my blog post about my faith journey here. Archives
November 2018
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